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| Life Line | June 9, 2004 | Volume 1: Issue 3 |
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Any discussion about this
topic must necessarily be predicated on the Orthodox understanding
of homosexuality, on the one hand, and Holy Matrimony, on the
other. After grasping the Church's position on these,
one can affirm the statement issued by the Standing Conference
of the Canonical Orthodox Bishops in the Americas (SCOBA) on
Aug. 27, 2003 entitled "On the Moral Crisis in our Nation": |
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Copyright © 2004 Light & Life Publishing. All rights reserved. No part of these articles may be reproduced by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without written permission of Light & Life Publishing. |
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 Dear Light & life, What are the rules for remarriage in the Church? After 28 years, my husband left me for another woman. Six weeks after our divorce, he was married by a Minister (Church affiliation unknown, but not Orthodox) on a beach. He now wants to be married in the Church. What rules apply should I wish to remarry? The occurrence of a divorce is one of the most challenging events that a person, couple, family, and even friends can go through. The particular events revealed in the question above are so painful, and it is the Church's responsibility, in a balanced manner, to help those going through it. The answer is not so much in "rules applied," as it is in a pastoral care and concern afforded. Without a doubt, there is a natural tendency to care first for the woman asking the question, especially seeing the apparently profound unfairness of her ex-husband's actions. The care afforded must have the goal of helping her deal with her pain, anger, resentment, and loss and bring her to a place of forgiveness, and thus, spiritual health. This is what the Church is about. The profound theological position of the Mother of God, the Theotokos, reminds us of the nurturing, caring and compassionate Divine Attributes of God. The Church as the "Mother Church" further expresses these attributes in her care for her members. It is within this caring context that the Church deals with divorce. Of course, the ideal is for a couple to be together their entire life as supported scripturally, historically and naturally. However, when a divorce does occur, the Church, in great pain and sadness, recognizes that a sacrament has been broken. She recognizes the frailty of the human condition and our tendency to sin – or "miss the mark". She then affords the husband or wife an opportunity for repentance – acknowledging this sadness and their responsibility in it, and affording them an opportunity for reconciliation with the Church and even re-marriage within the Church. How does re-marriage occur? The process varies from one Orthodox jurisdiction to the next, but always entails obtaining an ecclesiastical divorce and permission to re-marry. In some jurisdictions the petitioner appears before an ecclesiastical court for this purpose. If the petition is granted, the person is free to re-marry a baptized Christian within the church. In all jurisdictions, however, the local bishop has the authority to grant up to three marriages within the Church for people widowed or divorced. Technically, a second or third marriage within the Church is different than a first. It is of a penitential nature and is not done with the same prayers and celebratory nature as a first marriage. This may or may not occur in a local parish for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that oftentimes at least one of the couple is being married for the first time in the Church. In this case a "first marriage ceremony" likely would be performed. The first step for re-marriage is to approach your local parish priest who will direct you in the process in your jurisdiction. Even if your ex-husband negotiates the process to be remarried successfully, you must also go through it so that you are free to re-marry.
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